Art

I want to write about something I saw on TV this weekend that I haven't really ever seen before: A man's foundation crumble from beneath him. Maybe you to saw this show, Dateline or some such program, but on it, they argued a thesis I myself have formulated, mainly that modern art, especially abstract expressionism is a joke spitefully played on the hardworking people of the world by ego maniac nin-com-poops.

Observation: The line between art and tools, between art and ego, has vanished. A toaster is a useful tool for warming and crisping bread, glue an umbrella on it and it suddenly becomes a million dollar art sculpture and yet renders it entirely useless as a tool.

hypothesis: Average people will not be able to tell the difference between a De Kooning and a preschoolers finger painting.

Experiment: Show eight works of art at a gallery. Four of the painting will be famous works by artist such as Marcel Duchamp and Jackson Pollock. The other four paintings will be finger paintings done by pre schoolers. Let the viewers guess which paintings are famous works worth millions of dollars and which ones were done last week by preschoolers. Also invite art historians, dealers and professors to look at and discuss why these works qualify as art while not revealing that preschoolers painted half of them.

Results: Average people not only could not tell the difference between a Rothko and a five year old's painting, they were upset to learn that a black circle painted on a white canvas was worth over a million dollars. The Art critics praised the preschooler paintings calling them fine compositions.

Now to the bit about a man's world crumbling before my eyes. The reporter, standing in front of a finger painting, asked an expert: Why the hell is this art again? (paraphrased). The expert responded, well it's not a simple matter. See this painting is multi layered. Its not just about the content but form--the emotions it evokes in the individual across time. It is a composition in which the negative spaces have meanings, it is about variation of line and color about the viewers interaction with it, bla bla bla. The reporter looked at the man and said, "A preschooler painted this." (!) A very talented preschooler, the expert shot back looking like a puddle of embarrassed flavored pudding .

Poor guy I thought. And then I was reminded of Sauraman not coming down from the tower of Isengaurd, not heeding the advice of Gandolf the White. My god man, Get out of the tower. Let us create real art! Art that serves as a functional tool for man kind. Put away the garbage that will be the next piece of assemblage sculpture and strive instead to make something beautiful, that does not confuse the masses but lifts them up! Too long have we mistaken the ugly for the beautiful!