Dreams are the illustrations before chapters in a book. If my dream last night were to precede a chapter, it would be a little wood block print at the top of the page and underneath it, like a secret, lonely, lake of ink surrounded by plains of pulp, the chapter number with a simple period after it. The picture would be of a man skating in socks over polished marble. He’d be weaving between two women carrying shopping bags. He’d have a boyish smile and upside down curving slits for eyes. The women would look very incensed at the tomatoes, baguette, and tin toy robot, bouncing out of their bags in the excitement. What a wonderful image to start my day, my chapter.
I recently met a co-worker of mine and we asked the usual questions students ask each other, what are you studying? what do you want to be when you grow up? So I asked this girl what she was interested in and it turns out she is studying French. Cool. “What are you going to do with that?” I asked, as if speaking it isn’t enough. She told me that she’s a sophomore and that she’s going to double major in French and Anthropology and then go on and get her masters, her PhD, join the peace corps, and then teach poor kids in French speaking Africa. “What about you?” she asked. “Me. Hmm.” A squirrel caught my attention in the woods and I spaced out for a second imagining what a fantastic life he must have, forging for acorns in the dumpsters and finding instead, corn dog sticks and greasy paper plates incrusted with rubbery cheese barnacles, and cardboard cups with sugary puddles of milks at the bottom. “I’m not sure actually. I'm blown away by today.” She looked at me like I was a serial killer, or maybe more like I was a weirdo shoving Funions and ranch dip in my mouth while wearing a cape and nothing else-- except suspenders--and ski pants--and a Gap sweater…and a chicken-mascot head dress. That was the end our conversation.
I was going through the book of James this morning and came up on chapter 4 verse 13: You who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.
Whoa.
There is also that grasshopper and the ant parable that warns about fools who waste away their days. Not having a plan is surely foolish, and yet thinking that the future is a real thing seems to be a mistake. I am attacking this from all angles but some how am missing the mark. Let me try one more time.
Give us this DAY our DAILY bread. Amen.
6 comments:
". . .anyone who works for the future, lives in it today."
Tutoring African children. Curing cancer. Space travel. Respect. Peace.
High ideals everywhere.... what a happy little world we'll soon have. :-)
squirels, children, milk, dreams... what a happy little world we've always had:P
I wouldn't say I'm ambitiousless, that wasn't my point. It's more like I want to be were God puts me each day. But thanks for the second part Ann that is nice. Your heart is big enough to be a missionary reguardless of your chemistry skills:)
don't be sorry ann:)I'm ambitious about a lot of things. Maybe not things that would get me to the next round in the "Apprentice" (tv show) but I want to be where God wants me. I strive to have faith, that God will put me where he wants me to be each day. If I am called to be a garbage man or a writer or a stock broker, I want to be the best I can be. To give you a more satisfying anwser Ann. I'm ambitious about finishing my story i've been working on for class. and also diving in to Donald Millers, "Painted Desert".
seems we have the same ideals, but in a different realm. guess mine is more of...where ever the world takes me, this world run by who knows what, but i know it's something much bigger than me...god, perhaps, but unfortunately i don't know him very well. so, for the sake of not getting too ridiculous, let us just call this force...the force. yeah! star wars reference. ok. the force brings some people to grand plans, future ideals and rock solidness in what they want. this is ok, as long as you're willing to change as the force tosses us around the sun, for things always change. for others, like you and me, every day is something to be thankful for, explore (inwards and outwards), breathe and not worry of the future because all of these daily moments and breads compounded will eventually lead us to the great Amen. The future. Our path. Our purpose, should we chose to have one. We just gotta keep our hearts and minds open, keep changing and learning. this is why i appreciate you so, Matt. Chain smoking coffee on the porch keeps me searching.
i agree. (i mean, really technically this isn't a do you or don't you agree kind of post) so then, here, here... yes!
many a person will live their entire lives focusing on the price and never noticing the path they tread to get there. my handy dandy therapist and i talked about this recently... how i am not a planner because i'm more in the moment than in the what might i be doing next week or month, or a year or five from now. i'm glad there are others out there who feel the same.
when i grow up, i just want to be a really good version of me.
that and the peace corps sounds great and idealist worthy, though i hear it's actually more about globalization and building little americas everywhere. i still think there should be a group of wandering folks who just travel the world meeting people, talking to people, and hugging people, without any agenda.
ps i love the way you write.
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