Hippy Parade

The women of Western Washington University are taking back the night. Like every other cause in college, all that is required is joining a mob and screaming really loud so that people will look at you. The parade that marched past my apartment just now was a symbol that the women of this city will not be abused. I applaud non violence, especially violence directed at women.

There was so much energy in that crowd that I thought for a moment this old house would come tumbling down, like the walls of Jericho. Let me turn that parade into a box, a box filled with soap and sturdy enough for me to stand on.

Ok ladies you want to take back the night? Here are some helpful hints that will help you take back the night.

1. Quite dating wounded men. They need mothers not girlfriends.
2. Quite dating alcoholics. They fall into the wounded category except they are more pathetic when you take them out to dinner with your friends.
3. Try looking for a guy with more substance than a thick head of hair and new shiny cell phone. Hair and technology are both fleeting things.
4. Try finding men somewhere other than the damn bar. Only wounded, alcoholic, hair guys hang out at the bar and they are ussually on their cell phone. They are just trying to get you in bed anyway.
5. This goes not just for women but all members of the human species: work in some alone time. It is ok to be alone once in a while. If you are so scared to be alone that you have to date an abusive person then there is something wrong with you. Try marching down the street by yourself in an effort to take back your own sanity.
6. Quite watching TV. Especially dating shows or "reality shows". It is just fake. Reality is much different. There are no camera men following you around. Also, not all men in the real world have abdominal six packs.
7. Quite playing stupid. You think it is cute to pretend that your dumb? All you're doing is making yourself look foolish and allowing really dumb guys to feel better than you. I guarantee if you quite playing dumb you would attract a whole new crowd.
8. For the love of God pull up your pants and burn your G strings. If there was ever a cause to beat a woman it would be because she doesn't have enough pride in herself to cover up her ass crack.
9. I know it seems like a stretch here, but maybe you shouldn't dress up like a hooker and dance like a stripper when your out at the club. If you look like a whore there are plenty of guys with sick fantasies who will treat you like a whore.
10. If a man hits you, leave. "Not that simple." You might say, "Matt you need a PhD in psychology before you can make a list like this". Quit complicating the world. If a man hits you, leave.
11. Though this list might appear to be geared to ditsy bar chicks that date frat boy drunkards, let me point out that I can replace "G string" with "hemp string" and dancing "like a whore" to dancing like a "geisha" and you start to get the picture. For you feminist--quit dating intellectuals who get wine drunk, beat you, and then write poetry about the evils of capitalism.
12. It has to be said. Date me.

I am sure there are many more ways to avoid getting beat and raped... And let me say that I AM NOT blaming the victim, merely giving suggestions that might cut down on the risk of being a victim of violence. And my final suggestion would be this-- for all Fathers, Uncles, brothers and boyfriends. If a man lays a finger on a woman you love, go beat the shit out of him with a chain.

Now we have a workable agenda for preventing violence. Women: Be intelligent, dress intelligently. Men: Beat those men that beat up women. And for the love of Humanity turn off the televison.

If only we could make city walls rumble with an enthusiam for space travel OR maybe just for the hellovit. Living should be cause enough for making city walls tremble with creative passions!